Quick Decoration Idea - Kalimah Calligraphy

I just thought I’d share another homemade idea with all those who are interested in making art… (See also my May post “My ‘Allah’s Names’ Wall-Hanging Project” for the other idea J)

I was reading up about someone who painted Arabic calligraphy on their walls directly, and felt in the mood to do something similar. I wanted to write La Illaha Illa Allah, because it is one of my very favourite phrases I keep on finding myself repeating in thikr.  Yet, because I don’t expect to remain long where I am (hoping to soon move out again) I didn’t want to do a permanent job of it. I couldn’t see my non-Muslim parents being keen on having their soon-to-be spare room looking like a mosque! :-D

Then I came up with a quick idea, which brought a bit of cheer into my dreary and weary day – to write it on a transparent, plastic sheet, so that when it is on the wall, it looks like it is written directly on the wall. Not only that, but it is portable, and looks invisible on any wall – in any place.

So I first wrote out the script small in pencil on paper, in order to design it. Then I made a bigger size and pasted a plastic sheet over it (I cut out one from an old Flip File), tracing it on with a black permanent marker. After that, I stuck it up – and voila! There I had my script on the wall above my picture of Makka.

Of course, one can choose any phrase – and also make a better job of it, like putting a fake frame around it, or putting it up on a window. Feel inspired, inshallah!

Salaam

Saadiqah

(*

Rules, Rules, Rules...And The Happiness Beyond Them

ﺒﺴﻢﺎﷲ ﻠﺮﺤﻤﻦ ﻠﺮﺤﻳﻢ

Rules, rules, rules… if that was what Islam is all about, who would want to become Muslim? Not me!

I mean… why on earth would I want to deny myself that delicious bacon with the eggs, or not have a sip of wine to warm my insides on a cold winter’s evening? And what about that savoury parmesan cheese which I wanted to use with my pasta dish – until I saw it had animal rennet in it? And how could I deny myself my mother’s delicious pumpkin fritters –  only because she frequently cooks pork in her pans? Or her amazing lasagne or spaghetti – just because the beef mince is not halaal?

On the other hand…why would I want to pray five times a day at set times, having to wake up at sunrise for Fajr – even when it is at 4am? Why bother washing every time you need to pray and every time you break a little wind? And why would I want to wear all-enshrouding, loose clothing which makes me stick out a mile around the non-Muslims in the mall? Or why would I have give up dating men, or limit my choice in husband to a Muslim man – and obey him on top of it! I could just hear the feminists in uproar: “You’re free to do what you want! You don’t need a man to maintain you!” And then – what about the rule permitting polygamy of all things… surely not something for “civilised Westerners,” is it?

Rules, rules, rules… No, Islam is not so much about rules, as it is about the joy, happiness, beauty and peace of the

Straight Way

. The Shari’ah given to us by Allah Ta’ala is not mean to bog us down and make life boring, restrictive and devoid of fun – it is a very powerful reminder that He knows best what we need to be ultimately happy. We search for so much happiness in things that may not be good for us; following the crowd and our own short-sighted desires. Yet…do we really know best in the long-term? Just look at all the failed marriages. Look at the harm of dating various partners. Look at all the promiscuity and prostitution. All the increasing statistics of heart disease, cholesterol, obesity and other illnesses. All the abuse of the earth’s resources and the animal kingdom – and the heartless materialism of today’s existence.

To put this into perspective, let me use the examples which I cited above. Why would we as Muslims need to avoid pork, alcohol, animal rennet, and meat which is not halaal – but could potentially be? And why would we need to pray five times a day – even if it means waking up early – performing wudhu before each prayer or before touching the Qur’an, or wear hijab? Or why would ladies marry a Muslim man and obey him – as opposed to any man we ladies want, and doing anything we want? Why couldn’t we date men? And why would polygamy be permitted when it seems to be something so primitive and backward in the modern age?

After much reading, I came to the conclusion that if these rules are followed, society would be nigh on being Paradise…

Pork is the fattiest and most unhealthy meat that humans consume. Therefore it would contribute to heart disease, cholesterol and obesity. It contains harmful parasitic worms in it, and causes various allergies. Pigs eat filth, which is deposited in their muscles – which we would then eat. That means that all that filth they eat is transmitted to us. Some people even hold the opinion that the promiscuous sexual habits of pigs cause us to behave promiscuously, too – as the saying goes: “You are what you eat.”

I don’t even have to stress how much harm alcohol has done to society… But there are those who say they don’t drink too much. TV adverts advise, “Drink Responsibly.” But is society showing that they are drinking responsible as a whole? It is a case of letting the devil slip through the crack in the door. Better to abstain altogether until we are in Jannah, where the river of wine spoken about in the Holy Qur’an will not make us drunk, and no sin and physical lust exists.

Meat, like beef and lamb – which is usually considered halaal – becomes haraam when either sacrificed to another God besides Allah, or the animal is slaughtered in any way besides the Islamic way which is the most painless. To slit the throat with a very sharp knife kills them instantly – and they are not to be slaughtered in front of other animals either. When we abstain from eating this meat, we show that we are animal rights activists, who do not tolerate animals being subject to abuse in the abbatoirs where they are stunned or shot  - in front of other animals, which wait in terrible fear for their turn. We also avoid some animal products, like rennet, which is taken from the stomach of an unweaned calf – probably slaughtered too, to get to it. Not only do we benefit the welfare of animals by eating halaal meat, but we benefit ourselves, too. There are health benefits in eating halaal meat – the blood drains out, enabling the meat to stay fresh for longer.

Salaah and wudhu are given to us as a mercy from Allah SWT. He gives us a chance to purify ourselves from our sins. Wudhu is the key to Salaah, and Salaah is the key to Jannah. Ultimately – as I showed in a previous post “Islam – and ditching bad habits!” – to cultivate the habit of salaah and wudhu, causes us to naturally move away from some rather bad behaviour, whilst at the same time remembering to fear, love and respect Allah Ta’ala and His Absolute Sacredness.

Then we come to hijab – one of my favourite subjects. J There is no need to expound on the need for this in a world where women are cheapened to objects; their value and dignity transformed from that of diamonds to pebbles. To veil is for us ladies’ own good – and to uphold our hijab, is to uphold our dignity. I’m sure decent men would respect women who don’t physically provoke their desires, either – and would love to know that their wife’s beauty is for them alone. What a wonderful secret! Then there is some benefit for ourselves, too - no more body issues and bad hair days to worry about! If Islam brings together black and white peoples, it brings together fat and thin ladies, too. Each one’s personality shines, no matter how many flaws they have. Masha’Allah!

To the dissenting Feminist voices in society, we Muslimahs would say: “Look at our life and then look at yours.” When a woman obeys her husband, she maintains peace in the home and family – and obedience is only asked from us within the Islamic bounds. If one’s husband tells her to do something contrary to the Divine Law, she is even commanded to disobey him! Muslim women only marry Muslim men, because they want to prevent their children from suffering in a household of divided values and beliefs. Like it or not, men really are the maintainers and protectors of women, because Allah SWT designed them to do this. And they are not without their duties. When I see all the responsibilities men are burdened with, I am only too happy to be a Muslim woman who is given such wonderful rights by the Shari’ah! The West has put so much pressure on women to be ambitious and career-minded as much as men are, and this is against their nature. Let the ladies be proud housewives if they want to be! We are not obliged to work as men are, but we are allowed to if we want. As for dating… it may seem harmless, but look at the risk of promiscuity when a woman is left alone with a strange man.  Finally, polygamy is an exceptional measure to ensure that the women who cannot find a husband – or give him much-desired children – are taken care of in an honourable manner.  Admit it – mistresses may have “fun”, but are they really and truly respected by their men?

Rules, rules, rules…No,  just a lot of good. I didn’t became Muslim to give up pork, alcohol, fitting in with the crowd, wearing “sexy” clothes and dating. Nor did I become Muslim to imprison myself in a rigourous schedule of washing and praying. I became Muslim, because to give up the haraam things and take on the hijab, salaah and Islamic lifestyle is better for me.

In the end, there is so much beauty and inner wisdom in the Divine Law, that to follow it becomes a pleasure. It is only an outward manifestation which increases our consciousness of the inner Reality. It also increases our consciousness of our actions and intentions. We come face-to-face with why we act the way we do, and how we are to act. And in the end, we live in the all-embracing Reality, walking in the Truth, being with Allah our Maker, Who loves us infinitely. What greater happiness could we ask for than to live out our purpose and destiny?

And Allah knows best.

Salaam

Saadiqah

(*

Adjusting to Islam as a Way of Life - Not so Easy!

ﺒﺴﻤ ﺎﷲ ﻠﺮﺤﻤﻦ ﻠﺮﺤﻳﻤ

What a story it is for each and every revert, and how different – the first year as a new Muslim. Mine has not yet reached all through the calender back to Rabi-ul-Awwal where it all began, but looking back these last seven months, it has been quite a time! I don’t want to bore you with personal details of my life, but I thought I’d share some experiences in case there are any reverts who are struggling with their new life, and who will feel encouraged reading mine. To be honest, I need to write for my own sake, too, because I need encouragement too!

Seven months into becoming Muslim, I have come face-to-face with a crisis of some sorts. The novelty of the new life – the ‘honeymoon’ if you want to call it that – has worn off somewhat, and the hard reality has set in. In plain English, I am coming to realise just how different my life is now. I think that is why it was said that the first year is the most difficult. It is the year in which your life changes forever and you go through various strong emotions; first of ecstasy and joy at what you gained, then of grief at what you lost, and finally of peace and integration. I suppose if I tell you my version, dear reader, it may make more sense, because what I wrote above seems to be just a jumble of conceptual ideas!

In the beginning… there was light (excuse the pun! J). The joyful light of new Imaan.  And the light separated from the darkness and showed it to be dark indeed… Pork? Wine? How could I have consumed that stuff? How could I have dressed in such revealing clothing? How could I have believed that we could pray to others besides Allah? La illaha illallah, Muhammadur rasullullah… Now I am a Muslim, with a whole new exciting life ahead of me! New eating habits, new dressing habits, new toilet habits, new washing habits, new prayers, new Scripture, new language! Lots of new things gained – and yet more to come in the form of new friends, new books and new clothes! J

But, there was the other side of the coin too – lots of old habits to break, comfort zones to abandon, belief systems to unlearn and perhaps even old relationships lost along the way, too… I was lucky – my parents didn’t kick me out, even if they didn’t want to get involved. Nevertleless, I felt the distance growing between me and my Christian family – and the dog!

A new revert seems invincible – at first. Trials –  like adjusting to new daily laws and being cut off somewhat to their old life and loved ones – don’t seem to faze them too much in the beginning. They are blinded by love. the gain is more than the loss. As for me, it was difficult at first to live in a non-Muslim household, but after a few months, I got used to it. After all, I was in love with Islam! I wanted to learn the prayers, the Qur’an and Arabic as soon as possible; I didn’t want to crawl if I could leap and jump – after all my heart was jumping in joy all over the place! Eventually – after a few times of feeling the weariness creep up on me – I realised I was not Superwoman and would have to wait for my mind to catch up. I would have to take it easy; I cannot expect to know as much as a born Muslim yet! Oh, the joy of new love… J

When I moved out to stay at the halfway-home, I was elated to be in a Muslim environment. However, it took adjusting to that, too. Yes, I gained freedom from trials with haraam foods and dogs, made many friends and attended awesome classes, but I also lost freedom to be in my own environment and the peaceful silence it feeds me with. There were noisy housemates – and worse – often there was a lack of Deen. Seeing un-Islamic habits practised around me, and sitting in a near-empty salaah room, used by only a few, I kept to myself, questioning the reality of Muslims who didn’t wear hijab and make salaah. It was sad for me as a revert to observe. I was told to be an example to those around me, and I tried my best. Whilst others went out, wearing their headscarves with tight jeans, I wore my favourite style of hijab – flowing khimars reaching to the wrists, in black or other dull colours, along with abayas. I made my salaah. I went to Jumu’ah prayers. I tried to be gentle and considerate of the others, and I did my duties. But then I wondered… I am a revert – I must be the one who is supposed to be taught! Why do I have to do the teaching? In the end, the loneliness I escaped from by leaving home, found me there at the Home, too. I began to lose more than I gained; I went into eclipse.

What to choose?

To be at home on an island,

Or a stranger in a familiar sea?

Whilst I was there, the honeymoon ended. One day, I woke up, and was hit with cold reality. I think it was the day when I saw a mualimah who was teaching me to recite the Qur’an. I pitched up there for a lesson and, instead, I poured out my heart. Tears turned to sobs, and sobs to shakes. I said to her how terribly alone I felt; how destitute I was. I said to her that I wished I could get out; that I even wanted to return to my parents, as I couldn’t take the stress anymore. Then she said to me: “But you can’t go back; you’re a Muslim now.”

You’re a Muslim now… those words hit me like a sledgehammer. (Duh… as if I didn’t know I was Muslim! But that day it hit me – I was Muslim.) I am Muslim. And my life will never be the same again.  The choices I needed to make in my life with regards to my future overwhelmed me and I began to panic. I was on my own and needed to find a secure place. I increased my salaah, but soon realised I needed to help myself in this major adjustment. I could feel it taking its toll on me.

This was the first real test I had in learning to have sabr and trust Allah SWT. For the first time since I became a Muslim, I was tempted to get angry and rant at Him. It was hard to put into practice what I was told – to not question Him, but to accept His decree. This required a shift of belief systems. When I was ill and was told that it was “Allah’s sickness” and we must accept it and say “alhamdulillah,” it challenged over twenty years of being told that sickness is from Shaytaan and that “faith alone will heal it” – unrealistic but comforting.

Living with so many others, after living all my life as a loner, had affected me – their sorrows became mine until I was too weary to carry any more. I already had the burden of coming face-to-face with my own difficulties, and I think they felt the same, too. My ambitions were to stay at home and work from home, doing my sewing and writing. Being a traditional-minded woman, I wanted to follow what Allah Ta’ala enjoined on the Prophet’s (SAW) wives: “…and stay in your houses”. And it was impossible to stay there unless I was out all day.

Then there was the scary face of my nafs staring back at me. Living with others, even for a short time, is one of the most foolproof ways to get to know yourself. The experiences I have had,  taught me about myself – and some of them have reminded me of my hurts and weaknesses, which was not easy to admit to myself! People are like a mirror for your soul – you see yourself in them and in how you relate to them.

Despite all the opportunities I had there – and despite being a Muslim –  in the end, after nearly three months, I  left and returned to my parents’ home for the sake of my now-fragile health. So here I find myself, back to square one – back at the place where I began. I felt really defeated. If at any time I still thought that I was invincible, and that nothing would faze me as a revert –  I was now certain that I was not any more invincible than a drop of water! It was really humbling for me. However, I knew I needed to attend to myself first before being able to help others.

I also knew I needed my health to be good in order to pursue studies next year, insha’Allah. For I do not intend to remain here and be in isolation again.  With the help of friends I made in that area – and only with the Will of Allah Ta’ala, I hope to return to that side of the city next year and find a new place to stay whilst studying Islam full-time. 

On a lighter note, it has been quite an experience to return to a largely non-Muslim area where ladies in hijab are about one in three thousand! I went to the local shopping mall one day, and it was so difficult to wear the hijab I had worn on the other side; I was jittery and very self-conscious! Then something funny happened…

I was browsing in a bookstore, when suddenly a man working there put a book in my hands. I looked at him, then at the book. It was called “Disgraced” and was about a Muslim woman who was used as a sex slave and was terribly abused. The first thing that came to my mind was: “Did this man wish for me to leave Islam? Did he give a silent message that Islam was oppressive? Did he really think Islam condoned sex-slavery?” I looked at him, and he looked back; a serious expression on his face. Surely if he meant well he would have found a more positive book? After all,  how would he know I was looking for Islamic topics? I have other interests as well… Whatever he intended, it made me feel truly part of a minority. For one moment I felt so small – and even lost in the sea of non-Muslims.

It was a strange feeling. I put the book down, looked at him again and thought: “You won’t take me away from Islam; it has set me free and I wear the hijab with pride!” I felt so terribly self-conscious, but nevertheless, found a part of me being so excited to do silent da’wah again!

Back with my parents, I have found it much easier to talk about Islam now than before, and they have been good about it; very tolerant. My dad had even encouraged me to wear my hijab when he mentioned one day that it is a free country and I could wear what I like; that others could even possibly admire me for it! Alhamdulillah, and I am so grateful for that! Someone only recently said to me: “I don’t know how you do it; I really admire you.” And with that, I hold my veiled head up high, despite the nerves and lowered gaze. Yes, I am a Muslim, and no matter what I go through, it is so worth it!

Salaam

Saadiqah

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My First Ramadaan!

Salaam aleikum dear readers! It has once again been a long time since I last wrote, and I am so happy to be typing away once more! I missed writing so much… I had planned to write about my first Ramadaan as a new Muslim, ever since it approached, and, masha’Allah, now I can get down to it at last, as I take a break staying with my parents.

How exciting it was to anticipate this blessed month! All these questions ran through my mind: Would I cope with the fasting? Would it be too difficult? How would Taraweeh prayers be like to experience? What would I feel on Laylatul Qadr – and would I find it amongst the last ten nights? The answers proved to be surprising; I learned so much in Ramadaan…

As the end of the month of Sha’ban drew to a close, excitement built up at the halfway Home where I stayed. The radio was tuned to the Muslim station and we waited for the announcement of the moon-sighters. The evening was clear, so there was a good chance we would fast on the next day, Monday the 1^st August. As the sun set, I tried my hand at spotting the thin crescent in the blue-yellow light. And to my utmost amazement – as I never expected to see it so soon –  there it was; a hairline crack in the sky of a smiling crescent! I rushed to tell the other housemates: “I saw the moon, I saw the moon!” They squinted and said: “Where? I don’t see it!” After a time as the sky grew darker, they also saw it above the roof of the outhouse.

That evening, I tried doing twenty rakats of Taraweeh by myself in the (unfortunately not-very-used) salaah room at the Home. It was exhausting, but I was enthusiastic. After that, I slacked off, due to wanting to concentrate on keeping my energy for the fast. I also thought it was so much better to do with others in the mosque. Unfortunately I only had the opportunity to go once in Ramadaan to the Taraweeh prayers at mosque, and even then the prayers at that mosque were done so speedily that it was like a sprinting race! Nevertheless, the feeling of being in congregation was awesome!

The first day of fasting was the hardest. This was because I did not eat my usual “low GI” sehri (pre-dawn meal) which usually consists of two slices of wholemeal seed loaf or a bowl of oats, along with two cups of water, raisins and a fruit. (I had made some sunnah fasts before Ramadaan to practice, and found it quite manageable if I ate properly in the morning.) Instead, I had white bread (or something close to it!) and coffee. By the afternoon, what a headache I got! The next day, I managed to get some oats, which I had every morning from then. The headaches never returned. In fact, I had more headaches in the morning from tension and sinus, and by the afternoon, I was feeling WONDERFUL.

The best part of the fasting day for me, was the afternoon after 2:30pm or so. By then, my hunger pangs switched off and the feeling of lightness made me feel like I would fly whilst doing salaah. It was awesome, because prayer felt effortless. I grew addicted to it, and made a habit to do extra sunnah salaahs – partly because I had to keep my mind busy to not think of lunch! J I loved doing Salaatul Duhaa in the midmorning, and began to make a habit of something which I had always wanted to do ever since becoming Muslim – Tahajjud salaah in the night. I found that waking up an half hour earlier was enough. If sehri was at 5am, I would rise at 4:30. And as Ramadaan ended, I would rise a half-hour before Fajr. What a lovely time to pray – the house is quiet; the blanket of night thick, and the silence tangible. I grew to love Tahajjud and Fajr more than any other Salaah times.

I decided that, as Ramadaan would be 30 days this year, and there are 30 parts (Juz) to the Qur’an, I would read one per day in the English translation. I was blessed as I completed my third English reading of the meaning of the Qur’an this Ramadaan. I used to start reading after Isha, and complete any remaining section of the Juz the next morning after Fajr. I also used to practice my Arabic recitation as well, and made some progress in my reading of Arabic, sitting and slowly working my way through Surahs Yaseen, Mulk, Waaqiah or Sajdah, reading 15 ayahs or so at a time.

Then on the 18^th of Ramadaan, things changed drastically – I fell out when I got my hayd. And when I get it, it is a big deal, because it usually lasts a long 11 days. How I missed the fasting, the salaah, and the Qur’anic reciting! I realised how important these practices are in a believer’s life. As I couldn’t do them now,  I increased my thikr, having my tasbih beads in my hand often. Laa illaha illallah… Muhammadur Rasullullah… Subhanallahi wal hamdulillahi wa la illaha illalah wa allahu akbar… Nevertheless, after a week, the void of no salaah got to me and I began to almost forget it was Ramadaan, not being able to fast. But one thing kept me reminded…

It was the second part of Ramadaan for me, when I learnt completely different lessons – that of the amazing generosity and charity of my fellow Muslims. Being in a Home for the destitute, many came with Eid gifts for us, especially the children. I was overwhelmed with all the generosity I encountered… never was I so overwhelmed with generosity as when I became Muslim, but now it was incresed tenfold. Strangers coming to give us things, well-off friends buying me so much things, been taken on a shopping spree, receiving money gifts to start me off in a new life… Subhan’Allah; I was speechless…

Two days before Eid, purified and having resumed salaah, I was able to fast again. One blessed day of yet another fast on the 29^th day, then I learned abother lesson – that of the importance of intentions above all actions. I fell ill with terrible sinusitus and was forced to give up my last day of fasting before Eid. Sigh! I was not very happy about it, but then I was reminded that it was my intention that counted more with Allah Ta’ala, than my actual fast, so I could still get rewarded for good intentions. 12 days I would need to catch up, but 12 days of good intentions and yearnings to please Allah.

So, as I entered Eid, I carried three memories with me – the 17 blissful days of fasting and praying, the stupendous generosity of my fellow Muslims, and the knowledge that intention was the most important foundation. Yes, I did fail sometimes to control my nafs (ego), sometimes getting into arguments with others, and I did fail to do as much prayer and thikr as I could have (astaghfirullah), but for a first Ramadaan, it wasn’t so bad at all.

I spent my first Eid at home with my parents, visiting the first Muslim friends I made. Still weak with sinus trouble – as spring approaches down here in SA, it means hayfever and sinus time! – it was a very quiet Eid, but blessed all the same. Wearing my best dress; midnight blue, with a lot of silver embroidery down the front and sides, and a white khimar (or as we locally call it – a burkha) with lace edging, reaching to my wrists, I visited my mualimah and family, having lunch with them. That evening I had supper with another good friend and her family.

I hope that whoever celebrated their first Ramadaan and Eid this year 2011/1432, had a blessed time too! May Allah SWT increase us all in our Imaan and Taqwa, and may we never forget those wonderful lessons we learned in Ramadaan. Just because it is over doesn’t mean we can return to our former life. No, it is yet another step higher on the ladder to Jannah. May the blessings of this Ramadaan last us until the next, insha’Allah, ameen.

The Power of Laylatul Bara'ah

I just HAVE to share about last night; it was an incredible experience! Before I do so, I wish all my readers baraka in these last two weeks leading up to Ramadhaan. May Allah SWT answer all your duaa's and may your year to come be filled with His abundance, insha'Allah, ameen!

Ever since I moved to a Muslim environment, I have been privileged to attend the Jumu'ah prayers every Friday. I had never had the opportunity before, and have since been to three. I have learned so much in a short space of time, and I can feel at last like I am getting more acquainted and comfortable with prayer in congregation. Subhan'Allah!

As many of you know, last night was Laylatul Bara'ah, or the Night of Emancipation, which falls on the night of the 15th Sha'ban. As a new Muslim, I am still learning the significance of each special day (or night). As I came to understand, it is a night of asking Allah Ta'ala for forgiveness, and pleading with Him to have mercy on us and grant us baraka and hidayah (divine guidance) in the next year of our lives.

It is also the night wherein He records what will happen to us in the next year. Pretty scary isn't it? Just imagine: there is this Book up there in Jannah in which Allah Ta'ala writes out our future. What does it say about mine, and yours? If I had to know all the trials I would have to go through... I don't think I could bear hearing it. It is one thing to endure trials as they come, but to know (for example) that you are going to lose your job or your mother is going to die, or you are going to be in an accident, etc. before they happen, is quite another!

We cannot change our destiny, but what we can do is appeal to Allah SWT to have mercy on us. Our sincere duaa's soften His already merciful Heart, and only He knows how they can direct our lives. It is a time to repent and move on to a life of increased remembrance of Allah SWT. What is so wonderful about Islam, is that it is not only about spirituality and doctrines, but every day living. Due to its involvement in our ordinary life, even down to our hygiene and which sock we put on and take off first, we are able to call Allah Ta'ala to mind more often - well I certainly hope so!

Last night I went with a group of my housemates to one of the local mosques for a special service to commemorate this night. I had fasted the whole day, and took some food along - dates, fruit juice and scones - in my "mosque bag." (Fellow new Muslims, this is a good tip - when you go to the masjid, it really helps to take a bag along, containing the following: a dry facecloth in a plastic bag, prayer kitaabs you may need, tasbih beads, and some tissues or a handkerchief. Then if by chance your wudhu breaks you have something to dry yourself off with if the masjid doesn't have towels.)

It was so beautiful inside; we ladies sat upstairs in a big and spacious gallery. Next to my friend, I sat in front, and so had a view of the imam. As the athaan went off, I immediately broke my fast, only having enough time to eat two dates, a few sips of juice and half a scone, before Maghrib began. Once Maghrib was finished, we did two rakahs nafl salaah before reading Sura Yaseen once. This was repeated thrice - after the two rakahs we recited Sura Yaseen again, did two more rakahs and then Sura Yaseen a third time. Each two rakahs had specially-prescribed surahs like Sura Iklhaas, Kaafiroon and Falaq to read after Sura Fatihah.

Once we did the six rakahs nafl salaah and recited Sura Yaseen three times, the emotions in the masjid became more intense, adding to my already-emotional heart. It is something incredible for my soul to pray fardh salaah in congregation (jama'ah) and hear the Ameen resound after the Fatihah. Each time I hear it, I feel as if I am transported beyond myself. When we all hold the same body posture, it is incredibly powerful, too. The gallery we women were on had wooden floor, so each time we went down into sudjood, there was a resounding thump as our knees hit the floor. The sound of shuffling bodies and rustling clothes is like a magnified echo of my own. Then, after the salaah in jama'ah is finished, to hear the salawat upon our Prophet SAW, elevates my soul further. The men's voices rise in such sweet harmony it feels as if we are all spiralling up to Jannah or flowing as one river. I don't know the salawaat very well yet, but when I come to a part I know and join in, it is as if I step into a stream which sweeps me along with it, and all physical effort is taken away, the power bearing me up. Who needs musical instruments when the human voice is enough to bring one to ecstasy? Again I thought: I am Muslim, and at last I am HOME!

When I told my friend next to me that it was so beautiful, she said it would get more intense. She was so right! The imam (who was a sheikh) led the congregation in a series of supplications to Allah SWT, in Arabic. Even if I couldn't understand all what he was praying about, the emotion that burst from him began to affect my heart. I could hear the desperate cries of his heart and the absolute submission of his voice. He humbled himself as a speck of dust, and I longed to worship Allah Ta'ala the same. After all, I knew I needed Him! I joined in hearts with the sheikh, crying to Allah. The tears began to fall and I grew hot inside. It was a cloudless winter's night (albeit mild), but the fans had to be put on, as the room grew so warm some of the ladies went out for some air. The air smelt like incense; it was so sweet!

Actually, as I think of it now, I read somewhere in one of my kitaabs that Laylatul Qadr (the night in Ramadhaan when the Qur'an first came down to our Prophet (SAW)) was on an unknown date. Some even believed it was not in Ramadhaan. Funny enough, it was said that on that night one of the signs would be that it would be unusually mild and the sky would be clear... Just like last night! The atmosphere was so powerful that I wouldn't be surprised if we encountered Laylatul Qadr, too...

Allahu Akbar!

After the supplications and cries to Alla Ta'ala, we prayed Isha salaah and I also did Witr afterwards, too. Then the sheikh gave us a khutbah on the significance of the night. All in all, we were there for three-and-a-half hours before returning home at 9pm, hungry for our supper. From yesterday morning's Fajr until Witr last night, I don't think I have ever made so much salaah and duaa in one day... Wow, what a time to experience!

Oh Allah, make us faithful servants close to You. Have mercy on us and forgive us our faults and sins. Give us the strength, sabr and baraka that we need to serve You ever more faithfully in this year to come. Ameen, Allahumma, Ameen!

Salaam

Saadiqah

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Salaam after a long time!

Salaam aleikum, dear reader; it has been a long time since I last wrote. So many things have happened since, so I never had the time! Insha'Allah, now that I am connected again, I may be able to write more often. 

In early July, I moved out of my non-Muslim home and suburb, into a place called Beitun-Nur, which is a society for destitute Muslim women. it is situated in an area with many Muslims. At last I have had the chance to attend Jumu'ah prayers each week, alhamdulillah! And no dogs around - just a lovely cat, and two geese and some chickens! ;-) 

Here at the Beit, I am busy finding my feet and getting into the life of the local Muslim community. So many opportunities have opened up for me that I can hardly take it all in! At the moment, with a lot of encouragement, I am busy writing a book about my journey to Islam, which I hope to call "My Hijabi Journey". It is a really exciting task! Insha'Allah, I am also going on the local radio station soon, in the first week of Ramadhaan, to tell my revert story and promote my book, etc. 

I hope to go to university next year to do Islamic studies, insha'Allah, in order to be able to write books propagating the truth of Islam, as it is my dream to follow this path of a writer. Subhan'Allah, our Almighty Allah has put so many wonderful Muslims across my path, who have been so eager to help me!

I humbly ask for your du'aas, that Allah SWT may have His way with me. I keep my readers in mine, too.

Until next time... hopefully soon, insha'Allah!

Salaam 

Saadiqah

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Rajab, Salaah - and the Life of Islam

As it is presently the month of Rajab, I thought I’d write a little about what Salaah has taught me, and what I have learned about it…

The word “Rajab” means “Respect” and “Honour”. It is the month of our Prophet’s (SAW) Night Journey to Jerusalem and through the seven heavens, passing through 70 000 veils of Noor (light) to reach Allah SWT. It is an incredible journey which is hard to imagine in our limited minds, yet it was very real. Whilst Nabi Muhammad (SAW) was there, he received the gift of salaah from Allah Ta’ala Himself. At first it was given to us, the Ummah, to perform 50 times a day, but was reduced to 5 – each one with the reward of ten. Although there was no fixed date for this blessed night, Laylatul-Mi’raj, it is celebrated on the 27^th Rajab.

Hence this month is a particularly special time to focus on our salaah and perfect it even more by making sure we perform it as prescribed. As the basis of our deeds, it is essential to know how to best offer our salaah. It is also a blessing to learn about the rewards and significance of our salaah and the inner reality of our worship.

Some of the wonderful things I learnt about Salaah, is that it is the mi’raj of the believer. It takes us right to the Throne of Allah Ta’ala. When we raise our hands and recite the first Allahu Akbar, we put the world behind us (or at least try to!) When we perform ruk’u, we bow to the Almighty, and as we  prostrate, we place our head down at His Feet. I thought this was absolutely amazing; what an immense privilege – heaven and earth meet! Yet it is often so hard to imagine and we so often forget it as we perform our daily duty… The good news is that Allah is the Most Compassionate, Most Merciful, and He sees our attempts and what is in our hearts.

Not only do we learn about Salaah, but we learn from it as well. Over the last four months as a new Muslim, it taught me that within it are three levels of humility – standing, bowing and prostrating.

As we stand before Allah SWT, we show that we choose to turn to Him and ask Him for guidance. “You alone do we worship, and You alone do we ask for help. Guide us on the Straight Path…”  This is the first step in all worship – the desire to please Allah Ta’ala and seek refuge in Him. It is the beginning of submission to Him in Islam.

As we bow before Allah SWT, we show that we acknowledge His supremacy over us; that He is our King and we His subjects.  “Glory be to my Lord the Most Great…”  This is the second step in all worship – the act of giving Him precedence in our lives; putting Him first. This is probably where the most Jihad occurs, as it is when our words and choice to turn to Allah SWT must begin to be acted out in our lives.

And as we prostrate before Allah SWT, we show that we totally submit ourselves to Him. As we say “Glory to my Lord, the Most High” we bring ourselves to the lowest position, as if we also add: “I am Your slave, the most lowly.” In one gesture, the whole essence of our Deen of Islam is portrayed. It is the third and final step of all worship. In it, we come to fulfil our deepest purpose – to worship our Maker completely.

Salaah helps us to learn how to concentrate on Allah SWT alone, and put Him first. It brings us to be aware of keeping clean – inside and out. It also has the power to teach us to be punctual.

In Rajab, serious preparations for Ramadhaan begin. It is said that the month of Rajab is the month of Allah SWT, Sha’baan is the month of Prophet Muhammad (SAW), and Ramadhaan is the month of the Ummah. This trilogy of months seems to have a similar gradual threefold process as Salaah – as Muslims we begin with Allah and the Qur’an, then we turn to Nabi Muhammad and the Sunnah, then finally we turn to the Ummah and practice the Shari’ah – the Way of the Qur’an and Sunnah in lives of love and charity to others.

I heard something wonderful on the radio as I typed: Rajab is when the seed is planted; when it grows. Sha’baan is when the plant is nurtured; when it develops. And Ramadhaan is when the fruits are reaped.

Islam all starts with a simple act of choosing to turn to Allah SWT, standing before Him. On recognising the truth that the Qur’an teaches, we are planted in Imaan and begin to grow. Then it proceeds with bowing to Allah’s Will, developing and nurturing this reverent fear (taqwa) by faithfully imitating the blessed man who taught us how to best please Him – Nabi Muhammad (SAW). Finally it ends with accomplishing what Allah Ta’ala wants from us and reaping the fruits of pleasing Him – a united Ummah and happiness here on earth and in Jannah.

There is a special duaa’ our Prophet SAW prayed from the beginning of Rajab, and through to the end of Sha’baan:

“Ó Allah, grant us blessing in Rajab and Sha’baan and deliver us to Ramadhaan”

This is also my prayer for you, dear reader.

May Allah Ta’ala grant us an Imaan which grows, Taqwa which is carefully nurtured, and Life with Him forever in Jannah, ameen.

Salaam

Saadiqah

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