Back From the Dead - And My New Blog

 

ﺒﺴﻤ ﺎﷲ ﻠﺮﺤﻤﻦ ﻠﺮﺤﻳﻤ

Dear Readers,

It has been sooooooooo very long since I wrote on here that I am not surprised if my readers gave up on me! So many things happened that I had no time to write at all – school was intensive, the library computer time I had was limited, and even more big – I GOT MARRIED!! J

From April I had less time to write, since I met my future husband back then. If any of you remember from my earlier posts this year, I was working on weekend as a casual shop assistant in a fabric store. One of my colleagues knew I was looking and told me that a regular customer had a son who was also looking. We set up a meeting and the rest is history J I got married in mid-June and moved out of my student lodgings to start my new life with my husband, Ebrahim and his parents. Alhamdulillah, I bought my own laptop at last, but only got online a month back. Then I was kept busy as we moved to our own place. Now as I am settling in and my first year Islamic studies ends, I have more time again to juggle blogging with housewife work. I am so excited to be able to write again!

I have been thinking quite a while of starting a new blog – in fact since March. As I mentioned in two posts prior to this, my emphasis has shifted from the Muslim revert life, to the need to integrate Islam in life. Now that I have been a Muslim for almost two years, I find that, although my discoveries and learning about Islam still come increasingly – and will do so until death – my focus dwells more on pondering on the signs (ayahs) of Allah SWT in life. Even as a Catholic Christian, it has fascinated me to see His signs in creation. I called these signs “Clues in Nature”, seeing myself as a sort of Sherlock Holmes bent of discovering traces of His Presence everywhere. As a Muslim, I am eager to continue this search, for it presents the Creator to Creation, showing us that there is a God – Allah Almighty – beyond everything.

Another reason I would like to start a second blog, is that I can write about things of this world from a Muslim standpoint, not emphasising the revert journey, but that of the pilgrim looking for love letters from his or her God, directing him or her onto the Straight Path to Jannah. Insha’Allah, I would like to write about anything I find clues in– whether it is about animals, human nature, business, trees, the sky, language, etc. – just to share the awesomeness and wisdom of Allah; to celebrate His glory.

I do not yet plan to shut down this blog entirely, but if I do seem too quiet, then visit me at Clues in Nature J

http://allahsfootprintsareeverywhere.blogspot.com

Eid Mubarak to all!

Assalaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakato,

Saadiqah

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ALLAH - The ONE UP There

ﺒﺴﻤ ﺎﷲ ﻠﺮﺤﻤﻦ ﻠﺮﺤﻳﻤ

This weekend – thanks to a much-needed rest – I got a wonderful opportunity to visit my parents after almost two months away. Resting at their peaceful home, I thought I’d share that great topic I mentioned in my previous post. This last post may have come as a surprise to some of my readers after writing such an exciting post about wearing niqaab, but then again – I am full of surprises! Truth is, I just found it was not for me in this place and time. I hope none of my niqaab-wearing sisters were not offended at my association of the niqaab with the Taliban; it was just a subjective thought moving through my mind. In truth, I know several wonderful niqaabis and they are peace-loving anti-terrorists. It is a really brave thing to do and I salute the warrior Muslimahs out there who have the Imaan to choose this act of personal devotion and stick to it.

Enough of that, I just had to share this awesome discovery I made a week or two back. It concerns the Most Holy Name of Allah. Some of my readers may remember that calligraphic artwork I shared in some posts back (see October 2011), of the Kalimah written out on see-through plastic. It was this very piece of work which put me on this new discovery.

Let me tell you how it all happened…

When I moved in my flat, I put the Kalimah up on a wall. I noticed that if I sat in the bathroom with the door open, or if I sat on my bed, I could see the Kalimah backwards in the mirror, which hung on the wall adjacent to it. One day doing just this, I looked at the mirror and spotted something eye-catching – the letters making up the Name of Allah looked like they spelt something in English. When I wrote “Allah” in Arabic on a piece of paper and stood in front of the mirror, I was astounded – the phrase I saw described just Who Allah is…

1 UP. He is the ONE UP there; the Only One Who is beyond and above everything. Subhan’Allah!!! It is even written in His Name. Wow…

May this little ayah of Allah SWT touch your heart as it did mine J

Salaam,

Saadiqah

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One Year a Muslim - and no more Niqaab!

I have been unable to post for a while, due to finding myself stranded without a computer, but at last I am back at it again - sitting in the public library! So much has happened that I feel quite like saying, "Pleeeease ignore my previous post!" Why? I have developed an intense aversion to the niqaab. Call me not yet ready, or succumbing to the waswas of the shaytaan, but I have gone off it.

But before I proceed to explain, I would like to share my significant milestone - I have been a Muslim for just over a year now. It has been quite a wonderful experience; I have grown so much in one year - not only spiritually, and intellectually, but in independence as well.

I remember reading somewhere that the first year of a revert is the hardest, but I don't agree. Perhaps it can be - I know myself how much struggles it took for me to adjust - and the family too! But the excitement of it all gave me strength to carry on.

Now, as I enter my second year of Muslim life, I find myself facing spiritual dryness - salaah has become a part of my life; the novelty long worn off. I have left home, escaping the isolation I felt, and found myself surrounded by Muslims, mosques, and madrassahs. It is not that I am taking all the Islamic surrounds for granted - but that I am constantly in it. Returning from classes, I just want to switch off and relax, read other books, do other things - as long as they are halaal!

I was starving - now I am over-satiated. The pendulum has swung to the other side.

I feel faced with a new challenge - not that of adjusting to Islamic life or facing disappointed family members - but that of persevering in my new life. The "honeymoon" is over; the time for integration has begun. The time to bring both worlds together. After all, Islam is a way of life; there is no church/state separation. Perhaps as a former Christian, I have to let go that mentality I had; that religion is not compatible with the world. Dunya and Deen are incompatible, but not when one remembers Allah SWT above all things one does. I can read about cats, or do a crossword, or work in my new weekend job as a shop assistant in a fabric shop, or go shopping downtown - all whilst remembering Allah. Alhamdulillah!

Back to my change of mind and heart about niqaab... It all started when I felt this sense of reality: my life has changed for good and I have to adjust myself. Naturally, I began to feel depressed at times, and pined for my loved ones back home.

Then one day, it all came to a strange head - one of my sisters - a full-time niqaabi - remarked offhand that she wishes that America would get bombed - not only the guilty, but the innocent - ALL of them. I knew she was joking, but something snapped in me. I did NOT want to be one of those extremists! Suddenly the niqaab became a symbol for me of this, even though I knew it was not. Even more - I wanted to be able to smile at people again. I was tired of serving ladies behind the haberdashery counter, and being unable to smile at them. I longed to be able to relate to non-Muslims (which would also help Da'wah in some ways, too); to still wear my long veils, but show my face once more; to be moderate. Now, I wear niqaab to class only. It was something I tried, appreciated, and could leave aside again.

Perhaps it was all that I needed - a little adventure. :-)

Anyway, I have to go now, as the library only permits a specific time to use the computer. I have another fascinating topic to share, but will leave it for next time, inshallah.

Salaam
Saadiqah
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My First Experiences Wearing Niqaab

ﺒﺴﻤ ﺎﷲ ﻠﺮﺤﻤﻦ ﻠﺮﺤﻳﻤ

Salaam Aleikum after a long time! I have now settled in my new place of residence and am having a wonderful time! Alhamdulillah, it is good to be back in the midst of the Muslim community again! Over the last two weeks, I have begun to learn Arabic in madrassah. It is such an eye-opening experience! But there is more to this story of learning than that - due to class requirements, I am learning even more deeply about the significance of hijab...

 

As required at my madrassah - due to the presence of our male teachers - we ladies wear niqaab in class hours. This was no problem at all to me, because I have been really fascinated by those ladies who live behind the veil. After acquiring a niqaab by a good friend who veils "full-time" (meaning that she always wears niqaab out and when amongst non-mahram men, without exception - even when meeting my dad), I was eager to try it out once I began classes. A week before they began, I had moved in my new flat. To my joy I saw that my flatmate was also a full-time niqaabi! This would mean it would be easier to adjust. I found myself wanting to wear my niqaab even before classes began, but I did wait till then.

 

The blessed day arrived: the 16th January 2012. At 7:45am, we got ready, our textbooks packed and black robes and burkhas put on. Then came the moment I was waiting for... With a beating heart, I donned my niqaab and went out into the street with my friend. With the madrassah and mosque only two blocks away, we were privileged to be able to avoid rush hour traffic and walk to class. It was quite exhilirating to wear niqaab that first day. The only problem was that Cape Town was experiencing a heat wave which would last that whole week. With temperatures in the mid-thirties centigrade (95 F) we sat in a crowded, stuffy classroom - seventy 99%-veiled ladies with seven fans shared among us. I had to laugh: for obvious reasons the men's side only had one fan! :-D Nevertheless, I felt blessed to be a woman covering up her beauty.

 

It was not long after my first day that I felt an urge to wear the niqaab in public places as well as in class - along with the black (or navy) burkhas and robes I like to wear out. As I was still so new to it, I only wore it when my flatmate came along with me. And so it was that I found myself one hot, sticky day, paying my first visit to the supermarket looking like a Warrior Muslimah! Nervously, excitedly, I went about my business shopping. Despite the pouring sweat, I was happy. I didn't have the patience to wait for cooler, autumn weather to come!

 

Then came Friday of that first week, when I took another big step - I went out alone. Where we live, it is awesome. Everything is in walking distance - there is a train station is just opposite our place, and further down the road there are two mosques, the madrassah, and the main road filled with supermarkets, cafes, fabric shops, etc. Even the library is a 15 minute walk away! No cars needed!

 

Now you understand why I mentioned that: when I went out I was exposed for all people to see. No car hid me from their view. It was quite intense! And yet, I couldn't resist the exciting challenge of walking out fully covered. It was like I couldn't turn back - with my passion for hijab, I just knew in my heart that it would not be long before I, too, became a full-time niqaabi.

 

Masha'Allah, it is now a week later and, despite the summer weather, the little children with their big stares, and non-Muslim ladies wondering if I am hot, I am hooked. Allah Ta'ala has made it easy for me. I wouldn't call myself "full-time" yet, though. I still keep my face open in the house even if a non-mahram like my landlady's father knocks on my door, or if I go to her house adjacent to my flat. And I am really nervous about the idea of going to my parents wearing it in their very Christian area! Nevertheless, it is clear that I am set on the path of purdah.

 

Now some would most probably say: Why? It is not obligatory for a lady to cover her face. And in the West of all places! (And in the summer of all seasons, when everyone else is walking around half-naked!) To this I would reply: Because I want to practice hijab in a more deeper way. I want to imitate the Mothers of the Believers - the Wives of the Prophet (SAW), may Allah be pleased with them. To place a screen between myself and men for the sake of greater purity of the heart.

 

Some would also be curious and ask: How has wearing the niqaab affected your life? And to this I would give a number of answers...

 

It has helped me to be more aware of my beauty as a woman. The hair may be the crowning glory of a woman, but the face is the first place men's eyes would rest on. It has also helped me to have less unnecessary interaction with strangers and helped me to lower my gaze. Somehow it just works, despite some saying that the niqaab makes it easy for ladies to gaze at men without being noticed. This has never happened to me - I found that I became so shy; wondering what people would think, I naturally dropped my gaze. There was a definite wall; the niqaab is a "portable house" I carry along with me.  I also had an increasing awareness of behaving in a modest manner - it has helped me to practice the hijab of the voice and actions. I have found that I wanted to be quieter and more reserved in public - the way that we ladies were taught to be.

 

Ialso found niqaab to be an advantage, in that it protects me from airborne pollens and germs. I feel hygienic in it. It also protects me from vanity - come now, which lady would actually want to hide her beauty? ... :-) On the flip side, it hides any blemishes on the face - and ugly teeth! 

 

And most deliciously, wearing niqaab has made me feel like a treasure to be closely guarded. Lifting the veil from my face as I enter the house or the ladies' section of the mosque, I have felt as if I had a precious secret reserved for special people I chose to reveal it to. It has made me feel so mysterious and alluring - but in such a profoundly respectable way. Men have treated me with so much respect. Walking along the streets, I have never felt so safe before!

 

Wearing niqaab has not come without its problems. I have not had any negative comments thrown at my (veiled) face yet, but it has caused surprised looks and confused little children! (I wonder what goes throught their little minds: "Mommy, where's her face?" or "Is she a ninja? Batman's wife? Or Zorro's daughter? ..." :-D) It was difficult to smile at people when they could only see my eyes. And, in answer to those people who asked if I was hot wearing it: yes, it is hot in summer. Sometimes the fabric over my nose makes me feel slightly stifled when there is no wind or fan nearby. Sometimes I feel ugly with this big black thing flapping all around me and wish I could leave it off! And then it does require an adjustment phase - one day I had an embarrassing moment in the mosque when I prayed the two rakats on entering the ladies section - I had begun salaah when I realised I still had my niqaab on my face! ;-D 

 

Then, in the midst of any problems, I remember why I am ultimately wearing it and once again it all becomes so easy...

 

I am wearing it to please Allah.

 

Salaam

Saadiqah

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A Little Note to my Readers

I just thought that I would let you know… Soon I will be leaving home and setting out on the blessed path of Deeni knowledge. On Monday, insha’Allah, I move out to my student residence – and back to being in the midst of the exciting, local Muslim community that I left behind when leaving the Beit in September. At last the time has come when I begin my two-year course of Islamic studies (on the 16^th January, insha’Allah) and I am so excited! So if my blog gets a little more quiet, please do bear with me J Once I am settled in, and find another computer other than this (my mom’s laptop! J) to work from, I hope to resume writing some more posts, insha’Allah.

To my readers, I ask your du’aas for me, that Allah Ta’ala help me keep my head on in this stressful and exciting time of new change, bless all my sponsors (who are providing for my study, accommodation and daily living costs) with abundant reward. I also ask du’aa that my book (relating my journey to Islam) will be accepted by at least one of the several publishers I have sent it to last week, insha’Allah. Alhamdulillah, I have finished it at last and hope to share it with others and inspire them for the pleasure of Allah.

When I look back on the time when I became a Muslim, I never knew just how much Islam would change my life in this first year. I feel so overwhelmed with all the generosity of my sisters and brothers in Faith. I feel like standing on top of a high hill and shouting to the world: “If you want to experience a generosity beyond any you ever experienced before, become a Muslim! La illaha illa Allah, ALLAHU AKBAR!!!” J

With that said, I make du’aa for my readers as well, for your various intentions; that Allah will hear your supplications , guide you and grant you what is best for you, ameen.

Salaam

Saadiqah

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Thoughts on Music in Islam

ﺒﺴﻤ ﺎﷲ ﻠﺮﺤﻤﻦ ﻠﺮﺤﻳﻤ

The topic of music in Islam is a very sticky one. I have been meaning to write about it for a long time, but kept putting it off – as a revert I didn’t feel clear on what opinion I followed. But then I listened to a programme on CII radio this morning in which the harms of music were discussed. As much as I found it difficult to take in what was being taught – that music was haraam – I could not help agreeing that it would be better to take the safe road and abstain.

I can sympathise with many Muslims who raise their voices at the prohibition of music: “But surely music is ok if there is no lustful and violent lyrics? What about relaxing music with nature sounds? What about songs where they sing about lawful things, like saving the earth? What about good songs – even Islamic ones – when there are women singing? And classical music? Is that also supposed to be forbidden? How could Islam want to take all our fun away?....”

It does seem so doesn’t it? Many Muslims feel that as long as the music concerned has no bad lyrics or instrumental strains which tug at our passions, it is acceptable. It does sound reasonable enough. Yet there is such a thin line between what is allowed and what is not. Strictly speaking, music with good Islamic themes promoting virtue and faith are permitted. There must be no musical instruments except a hand drum (daff), and women cannot sing to a male audience – ruling out all recording on CD’s and radio, because the chance of men listening is very great.

Instead of getting into more tangled debates, perhaps we should ask ourselves why these various prohibitions on music have been put there in the first place. Music is a very potent influence and can lead to so many evils in society – hypocrisy of the heart, preference of music over recitation of the Qur’an, lust, violence, following fashions of the unbelievers, forgetfulness of Allah Ta’ala, our Nabi SAW and our Deen… It sounds frightening how easily we could slip; that Shaytaan could so easily deceive us as he promised Allah Ta’ala he would. Would we be included in the “chosen few” on the Day of Qiyaamah if we become lenient with some things? As it is said: Give the devil a crack in the door and he will put his foot in…

In my own life, I can vouch for the effects music has on the soul – it is extremely powerful. When I suffered from depression, I found an outlet in listening to music, but it did little to heal my pain; it just externalised my passions, perpetuating what I felt. It is a very palpable force – one which could be quite dangerous at times. Listening to rock or heavy metal music – it makes one aggressive and violent; listening to romance – one feels lust or sentimental longing; listening to patriotic music – one could become nationalistic, which could possibly even lead to racism in extreme cases. Listening to passionate music, one could become passionate. In the end, the harms seemed to outweigh the benefits of listening to relaxing music.

After all the confusion I had on whose opinion to follow, I found myself becoming more clearer on the controversial issue of music when I heard the Moulana on the radio programme relate the following: that we give up the enjoyment of music in this life for the sake of pleasing Allah Ta’ala.

When I heard this it reminded me of what the Qur’an taught about alcohol and games of chance: that there is both good and harm in it, but the harm far outweighs the good, so abstain (cf. Sura Al-Baqarah 2:219). It is said that in Jannah there are several rivers, one being of wine which would not intoxicate us the way it would on earth. We would be wearing silk – not only women, but men as well – and we would be eating and drinking out of gold utensils. In other words, we would be enjoying all those things forbidden to us in this life: wine, silk (for men), gold and silver utensils. We would give these up in this life for the pleasure of Allah SWT, and receive an even greater reward; one which is free from all harms. In Jannah, wine will not harm us, there will be no zina (lust and fornication) or drunkenness, there will be no jealousy and rivalry. The pleasures will not lead us to sin, as they could do in this life.

All the things Islam has taught were forbidden or disliked – alcoholic drinks and other intoxicants, excessive luxury like silk for men and gold and silver utensils, casting aside the hijab, as well as music – were all for a very good reason: to protect us. It is true that there would be some benefit in them, but it is also true that the harm would be greater. Allah Ta’ala, as our Creator, knows how we love pleasure, but also how it could lead us to excess and distract us from remembering Him.

We are put here on earth as a test: how will we fare? Will we remember, hear and obey our Lord? Or will we just dismiss His warnings as insignificant? Will we justify ourselves by saying that we are individuals and can control our passions before they harm the greater society? Or will we realise that all these laws are for the good of all society? As beautiful and relaxing as music can be, it is worth it to give up the small benefits for a greater reward in the Aakhirah.

Islam is a Deen which considers the ‘other’, the Shari’ah is a Law which is aimed at the collective good of all society, rooting out anything which could lead us to sin and forget our Creator. We as individuals may feel a little frivolity is harmless – but will our children grow up one day, follow our example and commit it in excess? Or will others around us be influenced, imitate us and go off the Straight Path? It is not worth the risk. It is better to be safe than sorry…

And Allah knows best.

I make du’aa that Allah Ta’ala guide us all to collective consideration; to unselfish sacrifice and to a greater Imaan and Taqwa, ameen.

Salaam

Saadiqah

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Hijab: Faith not Fashion

ﺒﺴﻤ ﺎﷲ ﻠﺮﺤﻤﻦ ﻠﺮﺤﻳﻤ

I have just finished reading an AWESOME book, called “From My Sisters’ Lips” by Na’ima B. Robert. It is such a beautiful book, and I encourage every Muslimah to read it!!!  After all the negative stories of “cultural” Islam gone wrong, with its oppression of women, I found this book to be so refreshingly positive. It really is a gem!

After finishing it, I got thinking about my favourite subject again – hijab. I don’t want to write a long post again, but I just feel like sharing some concerns I have…

The sisters in Nai’ma’s book described their journeys with hijab so delightfully, and, in the end, they went all out to please Allah Ta’ala.  They really understood why they covered. Yet, sometimes when I go on internet and look up about hijab – or see some young ladies at gatherings – I sometimes wonder if the purpose of hijab has become forgotten. It seems as if it has become too fashion-oriented for many. Don’t get me wrong – I do not see anything wrong with wearing beautiful things, but I wonder to myself what the purpose of wearing hijab is, if the scarf worn in public places is as glitzy and attractive as the uncovered hair would be…

It seems that many Muslimahs believe that as long as its covered, that is all there is to hijab. Or if it is loose or opaque enough. But what about the ruling, saying that hijab shouldn’t be an attraction in itself? I see all these abayahs and hijab sold at the shops and worn, but they are so attractive with all their sequins and bright colours, it makes me wonder if it is worth covering up in them on the streets. They would be fine for the house, the husband and the family – and perfect for that ladies’ party! But for the streets, market and mosques? No!

In the Qur’an, Allah Ta’ala tells the believing women to wear an overgarment (jilbab) in public places – one which has muted colours and doesn’t attract attention. (This is the highest level of hijab covering.) Is it not time that we as Muslim women remember that our outer covering must be modest – not only in covering, in looseness and opaque material – but in colour too? Hijab is not a statement of Fashion (leave that to the clothes worn underneath) – it is a statement of Faith.

Salaam

Saadiqah

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