I just HAVE to share about last night; it was an incredible experience! Before I do so, I wish all my readers baraka in these last two weeks leading up to Ramadhaan. May Allah SWT answer all your duaa's and may your year to come be filled with His abundance, insha'Allah, ameen!
Ever since I moved to a Muslim environment, I have been privileged to attend the Jumu'ah prayers every Friday. I had never had the opportunity before, and have since been to three. I have learned so much in a short space of time, and I can feel at last like I am getting more acquainted and comfortable with prayer in congregation. Subhan'Allah!
As many of you know, last night was Laylatul Bara'ah, or the Night of Emancipation, which falls on the night of the 15th Sha'ban. As a new Muslim, I am still learning the significance of each special day (or night). As I came to understand, it is a night of asking Allah Ta'ala for forgiveness, and pleading with Him to have mercy on us and grant us baraka and hidayah (divine guidance) in the next year of our lives.
It is also the night wherein He records what will happen to us in the next year. Pretty scary isn't it? Just imagine: there is this Book up there in Jannah in which Allah Ta'ala writes out our future. What does it say about mine, and yours? If I had to know all the trials I would have to go through... I don't think I could bear hearing it. It is one thing to endure trials as they come, but to know (for example) that you are going to lose your job or your mother is going to die, or you are going to be in an accident, etc. before they happen, is quite another!
We cannot change our destiny, but what we can do is appeal to Allah SWT to have mercy on us. Our sincere duaa's soften His already merciful Heart, and only He knows how they can direct our lives. It is a time to repent and move on to a life of increased remembrance of Allah SWT. What is so wonderful about Islam, is that it is not only about spirituality and doctrines, but every day living. Due to its involvement in our ordinary life, even down to our hygiene and which sock we put on and take off first, we are able to call Allah Ta'ala to mind more often - well I certainly hope so!
Last night I went with a group of my housemates to one of the local mosques for a special service to commemorate this night. I had fasted the whole day, and took some food along - dates, fruit juice and scones - in my "mosque bag." (Fellow new Muslims, this is a good tip - when you go to the masjid, it really helps to take a bag along, containing the following: a dry facecloth in a plastic bag, prayer kitaabs you may need, tasbih beads, and some tissues or a handkerchief. Then if by chance your wudhu breaks you have something to dry yourself off with if the masjid doesn't have towels.)
It was so beautiful inside; we ladies sat upstairs in a big and spacious gallery. Next to my friend, I sat in front, and so had a view of the imam. As the athaan went off, I immediately broke my fast, only having enough time to eat two dates, a few sips of juice and half a scone, before Maghrib began. Once Maghrib was finished, we did two rakahs nafl salaah before reading Sura Yaseen once. This was repeated thrice - after the two rakahs we recited Sura Yaseen again, did two more rakahs and then Sura Yaseen a third time. Each two rakahs had specially-prescribed surahs like Sura Iklhaas, Kaafiroon and Falaq to read after Sura Fatihah.
Once we did the six rakahs nafl salaah and recited Sura Yaseen three times, the emotions in the masjid became more intense, adding to my already-emotional heart. It is something incredible for my soul to pray fardh salaah in congregation (jama'ah) and hear the Ameen resound after the Fatihah. Each time I hear it, I feel as if I am transported beyond myself. When we all hold the same body posture, it is incredibly powerful, too. The gallery we women were on had wooden floor, so each time we went down into sudjood, there was a resounding thump as our knees hit the floor. The sound of shuffling bodies and rustling clothes is like a magnified echo of my own. Then, after the salaah in jama'ah is finished, to hear the salawat upon our Prophet SAW, elevates my soul further. The men's voices rise in such sweet harmony it feels as if we are all spiralling up to Jannah or flowing as one river. I don't know the salawaat very well yet, but when I come to a part I know and join in, it is as if I step into a stream which sweeps me along with it, and all physical effort is taken away, the power bearing me up. Who needs musical instruments when the human voice is enough to bring one to ecstasy? Again I thought: I am Muslim, and at last I am HOME!
When I told my friend next to me that it was so beautiful, she said it would get more intense. She was so right! The imam (who was a sheikh) led the congregation in a series of supplications to Allah SWT, in Arabic. Even if I couldn't understand all what he was praying about, the emotion that burst from him began to affect my heart. I could hear the desperate cries of his heart and the absolute submission of his voice. He humbled himself as a speck of dust, and I longed to worship Allah Ta'ala the same. After all, I knew I needed Him! I joined in hearts with the sheikh, crying to Allah. The tears began to fall and I grew hot inside. It was a cloudless winter's night (albeit mild), but the fans had to be put on, as the room grew so warm some of the ladies went out for some air. The air smelt like incense; it was so sweet!
Actually, as I think of it now, I read somewhere in one of my kitaabs that Laylatul Qadr (the night in Ramadhaan when the Qur'an first came down to our Prophet (SAW)) was on an unknown date. Some even believed it was not in Ramadhaan. Funny enough, it was said that on that night one of the signs would be that it would be unusually mild and the sky would be clear... Just like last night! The atmosphere was so powerful that I wouldn't be surprised if we encountered Laylatul Qadr, too...
Allahu Akbar!
After the supplications and cries to Alla Ta'ala, we prayed Isha salaah and I also did Witr afterwards, too. Then the sheikh gave us a khutbah on the significance of the night. All in all, we were there for three-and-a-half hours before returning home at 9pm, hungry for our supper. From yesterday morning's Fajr until Witr last night, I don't think I have ever made so much salaah and duaa in one day... Wow, what a time to experience!
Oh Allah, make us faithful servants close to You. Have mercy on us and forgive us our faults and sins. Give us the strength, sabr and baraka that we need to serve You ever more faithfully in this year to come. Ameen, Allahumma, Ameen!
Salaam
Saadiqah
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