ﺒﺴﻤ ﺎﷲ ﻠﺮﺤﻤﻦ ﻠﺮﺤﻳﻤ
I’m sitting at the laptop now, a CD of the Qur’an playing in the background and a bowl of (halaal) trifle pudding on the table next to me. It’s a really hot summer’s day down here in Cape Town, a little more humid than usual. (I had to laugh – I heard on the radio that it was slightly cooler in Makkah today!) My parents just left for a family Christmas gathering. Funny how I am not with them… But my life has changed, and, as the implications of this continue to play out throughout my first year as a Muslim, I have come to see just how much it has changed.
Becoming Muslim has changed not only my beliefs, dress and practices, but it has changed how I approach my culture. Some things I could do before, I just cannot do anymore – and one is joining in the Christmas festivities. It’s a real culture shock!
As December approached, I began to think about how to approach the coming festive season. How would I behave? How would I deal with my family who still celebrate it? How would I respond to people wishing me “Merry Christmas”? How would I respect people and yet have nothing to do with their religious holidays? And how would I try and put it across to my family that I don’t want any gifts for Christmas? After a while, I found the constant festive barrage of the TV rather stressful. I would need to make plans to be with Muslims on Christmas – that was for sure! I wanted to feel what it was like just to go on with life.
Because for me, December 25 was now just an ordinary day…
After consulting Muslim friends and emailing an eminent Mufti about how to deal with Christian loved ones this season, I felt little consolation. Everyone seemed to differ in how to approach Christmas. These approaches ranged from having no association with it at all, even down to not greeting (and, if greeted, responding by merely saying “May the Peace of God be with you”) – to going to join in festivities with a niyyah of just being with the family. As I sought to form my own opinion, I believed it was going too far to be joining in festivities if one could avoid them. What was a niyyah when actions contradicted it? However, if someone went to trouble to give me a gift, I would accept it. And I would greet in neutral terms: “Have a special day!” etc.
A few weeks before Christmas, the cards started coming to our postbox. To my surprise I received one from a convent where I stayed as a Catholic trying out my vocation. I mentioned my reversion to the nuns, in a letter I had previously written to a friend there, but here the nuns sent a card, making my reversion to Islam seem like it never happened. It felt really strange! Nevertheless, because they wanted to know how I was doing, I wrote a short letter wishing them well – and reminding them I was Muslim.
Lately my mother has become so considerate to buy halaal food for me so I can eat with her and my father (may Allah SWT bless them for that!). On Christmas Eve, she decided to make her wonderful lasagne, and suggested I make a separate halaal version for myself. Unfortunately it was impossible to find halaal meat in the area where we stayed (besides chicken), otherwise she would have bought it. In the end, I chose to make a lentil and spinach lasagne which turned out to be really delicious! It was wonderful to experiment and also enjoy something which substituted for my very favourite dish – now I would also have an idea to try out on my own family one day, insha’Allah!
As in all Christmases gone by, my mother made the traditional Christmas trifle pudding – complete with liqueur-soaked swiss roll beneath the layers of jelly, fruit and custard! Imagine my surprise when I saw that she had made me one in a separate dish – without the haraam ingredient! She also insisted that I receive a gift from her as she didn’t want me to be left out. On the giftwrap, she wrote “Happy Day!” I had to smile… J
In the past month, I realised that reversion to Islam is a process – not only for the revert, but for their families, too. Recently I did a lot of research about Christmas, and even birthdays – how they come from pagan origins, and how Muslims must not celebrate them. I can imagine how hard it would be for reverts convicted of this, to tell their families not to hold birthday parties for them or get them birthday presents anymore – it would be so difficult for their families to understand at first! It would certainly take some time to adjust mentally – both for the revert and their family. Perhaps to downplay the party the first year, then make it into a visit for tea the next, before it becomes another ordinary day of the year… Plenty of sabr and tolerance would be required in the adjustment phase…
As a seeker of an Islam pure from any pagan feasts, I resolved to leave behind the concept of Christmas and birthdays. However, it would take time before my family would remember that I did. I must say, though – after 10 months of being Muslim, it seems as if they are adjusting pretty well to their new life with me. Alhamdulillah!
Salaam
Saadiqah
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