ALLAH - The ONE UP There

ﺒﺴﻤ ﺎﷲ ﻠﺮﺤﻤﻦ ﻠﺮﺤﻳﻤ

This weekend – thanks to a much-needed rest – I got a wonderful opportunity to visit my parents after almost two months away. Resting at their peaceful home, I thought I’d share that great topic I mentioned in my previous post. This last post may have come as a surprise to some of my readers after writing such an exciting post about wearing niqaab, but then again – I am full of surprises! Truth is, I just found it was not for me in this place and time. I hope none of my niqaab-wearing sisters were not offended at my association of the niqaab with the Taliban; it was just a subjective thought moving through my mind. In truth, I know several wonderful niqaabis and they are peace-loving anti-terrorists. It is a really brave thing to do and I salute the warrior Muslimahs out there who have the Imaan to choose this act of personal devotion and stick to it.

Enough of that, I just had to share this awesome discovery I made a week or two back. It concerns the Most Holy Name of Allah. Some of my readers may remember that calligraphic artwork I shared in some posts back (see October 2011), of the Kalimah written out on see-through plastic. It was this very piece of work which put me on this new discovery.

Let me tell you how it all happened…

When I moved in my flat, I put the Kalimah up on a wall. I noticed that if I sat in the bathroom with the door open, or if I sat on my bed, I could see the Kalimah backwards in the mirror, which hung on the wall adjacent to it. One day doing just this, I looked at the mirror and spotted something eye-catching – the letters making up the Name of Allah looked like they spelt something in English. When I wrote “Allah” in Arabic on a piece of paper and stood in front of the mirror, I was astounded – the phrase I saw described just Who Allah is…

1 UP. He is the ONE UP there; the Only One Who is beyond and above everything. Subhan’Allah!!! It is even written in His Name. Wow…

May this little ayah of Allah SWT touch your heart as it did mine J

Salaam,

Saadiqah

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One Year a Muslim - and no more Niqaab!

I have been unable to post for a while, due to finding myself stranded without a computer, but at last I am back at it again - sitting in the public library! So much has happened that I feel quite like saying, "Pleeeease ignore my previous post!" Why? I have developed an intense aversion to the niqaab. Call me not yet ready, or succumbing to the waswas of the shaytaan, but I have gone off it.

But before I proceed to explain, I would like to share my significant milestone - I have been a Muslim for just over a year now. It has been quite a wonderful experience; I have grown so much in one year - not only spiritually, and intellectually, but in independence as well.

I remember reading somewhere that the first year of a revert is the hardest, but I don't agree. Perhaps it can be - I know myself how much struggles it took for me to adjust - and the family too! But the excitement of it all gave me strength to carry on.

Now, as I enter my second year of Muslim life, I find myself facing spiritual dryness - salaah has become a part of my life; the novelty long worn off. I have left home, escaping the isolation I felt, and found myself surrounded by Muslims, mosques, and madrassahs. It is not that I am taking all the Islamic surrounds for granted - but that I am constantly in it. Returning from classes, I just want to switch off and relax, read other books, do other things - as long as they are halaal!

I was starving - now I am over-satiated. The pendulum has swung to the other side.

I feel faced with a new challenge - not that of adjusting to Islamic life or facing disappointed family members - but that of persevering in my new life. The "honeymoon" is over; the time for integration has begun. The time to bring both worlds together. After all, Islam is a way of life; there is no church/state separation. Perhaps as a former Christian, I have to let go that mentality I had; that religion is not compatible with the world. Dunya and Deen are incompatible, but not when one remembers Allah SWT above all things one does. I can read about cats, or do a crossword, or work in my new weekend job as a shop assistant in a fabric shop, or go shopping downtown - all whilst remembering Allah. Alhamdulillah!

Back to my change of mind and heart about niqaab... It all started when I felt this sense of reality: my life has changed for good and I have to adjust myself. Naturally, I began to feel depressed at times, and pined for my loved ones back home.

Then one day, it all came to a strange head - one of my sisters - a full-time niqaabi - remarked offhand that she wishes that America would get bombed - not only the guilty, but the innocent - ALL of them. I knew she was joking, but something snapped in me. I did NOT want to be one of those extremists! Suddenly the niqaab became a symbol for me of this, even though I knew it was not. Even more - I wanted to be able to smile at people again. I was tired of serving ladies behind the haberdashery counter, and being unable to smile at them. I longed to be able to relate to non-Muslims (which would also help Da'wah in some ways, too); to still wear my long veils, but show my face once more; to be moderate. Now, I wear niqaab to class only. It was something I tried, appreciated, and could leave aside again.

Perhaps it was all that I needed - a little adventure. :-)

Anyway, I have to go now, as the library only permits a specific time to use the computer. I have another fascinating topic to share, but will leave it for next time, inshallah.

Salaam
Saadiqah
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