My First Experiences Wearing Niqaab

ﺒﺴﻤ ﺎﷲ ﻠﺮﺤﻤﻦ ﻠﺮﺤﻳﻤ

Salaam Aleikum after a long time! I have now settled in my new place of residence and am having a wonderful time! Alhamdulillah, it is good to be back in the midst of the Muslim community again! Over the last two weeks, I have begun to learn Arabic in madrassah. It is such an eye-opening experience! But there is more to this story of learning than that - due to class requirements, I am learning even more deeply about the significance of hijab...

 

As required at my madrassah - due to the presence of our male teachers - we ladies wear niqaab in class hours. This was no problem at all to me, because I have been really fascinated by those ladies who live behind the veil. After acquiring a niqaab by a good friend who veils "full-time" (meaning that she always wears niqaab out and when amongst non-mahram men, without exception - even when meeting my dad), I was eager to try it out once I began classes. A week before they began, I had moved in my new flat. To my joy I saw that my flatmate was also a full-time niqaabi! This would mean it would be easier to adjust. I found myself wanting to wear my niqaab even before classes began, but I did wait till then.

 

The blessed day arrived: the 16th January 2012. At 7:45am, we got ready, our textbooks packed and black robes and burkhas put on. Then came the moment I was waiting for... With a beating heart, I donned my niqaab and went out into the street with my friend. With the madrassah and mosque only two blocks away, we were privileged to be able to avoid rush hour traffic and walk to class. It was quite exhilirating to wear niqaab that first day. The only problem was that Cape Town was experiencing a heat wave which would last that whole week. With temperatures in the mid-thirties centigrade (95 F) we sat in a crowded, stuffy classroom - seventy 99%-veiled ladies with seven fans shared among us. I had to laugh: for obvious reasons the men's side only had one fan! :-D Nevertheless, I felt blessed to be a woman covering up her beauty.

 

It was not long after my first day that I felt an urge to wear the niqaab in public places as well as in class - along with the black (or navy) burkhas and robes I like to wear out. As I was still so new to it, I only wore it when my flatmate came along with me. And so it was that I found myself one hot, sticky day, paying my first visit to the supermarket looking like a Warrior Muslimah! Nervously, excitedly, I went about my business shopping. Despite the pouring sweat, I was happy. I didn't have the patience to wait for cooler, autumn weather to come!

 

Then came Friday of that first week, when I took another big step - I went out alone. Where we live, it is awesome. Everything is in walking distance - there is a train station is just opposite our place, and further down the road there are two mosques, the madrassah, and the main road filled with supermarkets, cafes, fabric shops, etc. Even the library is a 15 minute walk away! No cars needed!

 

Now you understand why I mentioned that: when I went out I was exposed for all people to see. No car hid me from their view. It was quite intense! And yet, I couldn't resist the exciting challenge of walking out fully covered. It was like I couldn't turn back - with my passion for hijab, I just knew in my heart that it would not be long before I, too, became a full-time niqaabi.

 

Masha'Allah, it is now a week later and, despite the summer weather, the little children with their big stares, and non-Muslim ladies wondering if I am hot, I am hooked. Allah Ta'ala has made it easy for me. I wouldn't call myself "full-time" yet, though. I still keep my face open in the house even if a non-mahram like my landlady's father knocks on my door, or if I go to her house adjacent to my flat. And I am really nervous about the idea of going to my parents wearing it in their very Christian area! Nevertheless, it is clear that I am set on the path of purdah.

 

Now some would most probably say: Why? It is not obligatory for a lady to cover her face. And in the West of all places! (And in the summer of all seasons, when everyone else is walking around half-naked!) To this I would reply: Because I want to practice hijab in a more deeper way. I want to imitate the Mothers of the Believers - the Wives of the Prophet (SAW), may Allah be pleased with them. To place a screen between myself and men for the sake of greater purity of the heart.

 

Some would also be curious and ask: How has wearing the niqaab affected your life? And to this I would give a number of answers...

 

It has helped me to be more aware of my beauty as a woman. The hair may be the crowning glory of a woman, but the face is the first place men's eyes would rest on. It has also helped me to have less unnecessary interaction with strangers and helped me to lower my gaze. Somehow it just works, despite some saying that the niqaab makes it easy for ladies to gaze at men without being noticed. This has never happened to me - I found that I became so shy; wondering what people would think, I naturally dropped my gaze. There was a definite wall; the niqaab is a "portable house" I carry along with me.  I also had an increasing awareness of behaving in a modest manner - it has helped me to practice the hijab of the voice and actions. I have found that I wanted to be quieter and more reserved in public - the way that we ladies were taught to be.

 

Ialso found niqaab to be an advantage, in that it protects me from airborne pollens and germs. I feel hygienic in it. It also protects me from vanity - come now, which lady would actually want to hide her beauty? ... :-) On the flip side, it hides any blemishes on the face - and ugly teeth! 

 

And most deliciously, wearing niqaab has made me feel like a treasure to be closely guarded. Lifting the veil from my face as I enter the house or the ladies' section of the mosque, I have felt as if I had a precious secret reserved for special people I chose to reveal it to. It has made me feel so mysterious and alluring - but in such a profoundly respectable way. Men have treated me with so much respect. Walking along the streets, I have never felt so safe before!

 

Wearing niqaab has not come without its problems. I have not had any negative comments thrown at my (veiled) face yet, but it has caused surprised looks and confused little children! (I wonder what goes throught their little minds: "Mommy, where's her face?" or "Is she a ninja? Batman's wife? Or Zorro's daughter? ..." :-D) It was difficult to smile at people when they could only see my eyes. And, in answer to those people who asked if I was hot wearing it: yes, it is hot in summer. Sometimes the fabric over my nose makes me feel slightly stifled when there is no wind or fan nearby. Sometimes I feel ugly with this big black thing flapping all around me and wish I could leave it off! And then it does require an adjustment phase - one day I had an embarrassing moment in the mosque when I prayed the two rakats on entering the ladies section - I had begun salaah when I realised I still had my niqaab on my face! ;-D 

 

Then, in the midst of any problems, I remember why I am ultimately wearing it and once again it all becomes so easy...

 

I am wearing it to please Allah.

 

Salaam

Saadiqah

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